Amy Lu's View

Today is a Rest Day Eve, and it feels glorious. Tomorrow is a day (1 of 2 per week) when my marathon training plan does NOT call for running, and this evening of anticipation of doing nothing feels so freeing.

I love being a runner (not always or necessarily running) and am so thankful that I can move and exert and challenge myself like this. But training and running and working so hard has made me appreciate the days off in a deep way I never thought possible.

If you’re thinking “Hmm, that sounds like saying you hit yourself in the face with a hammer so that it feels really good when you stop and aren’t hitting yourself in the face with a hammer,” I wouldn’t say you were entirely wrong.

I am in Week 12 of Marathon Training, smack dab in the middle of the hardest, craziest, most intense weeks of training. Last week I ran 8 hrs, this week I’m supposed to run only 7:30, and next week calls for 8:15 hrs and then tapering begins.

So I’m fluctuating wildly between “God, I hate this, I’m an idiot, I’m exhausted, why am I doing this AGAIN” and “I love throwing myself heart and soul into this and OMG I can’t believe this will be the last time I do this for…another year…or more?! WHEN is my next marathon?”

(And of course, woven through and underpinning both these extremes of the throught/emotional seesaw is I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT I DIDN’T HAVE TO STOP RUNNING BECAUSE OF ANY HEART DUMB ASSERY.)

The wonderful and awful thing about marathon training is it’s not just the time you actually spend running, but all the time you spend being exhausted from and obsessed with running. Hopeful about and nervous about running.

And all the time you (well, me) spends taking and posting highly unflattering selfies. Yes, my brain knows that the post-run photos where I’m all sweaty and red-faced/pasty are NOT attractive, but I’m just so proud to have survived I have to “brag.” And no matter how exhuasted I am, I can always find a little more energy to stop and take a selfie (or two or three or four) and look for the perfect filter/effect (why does the shocked cat have to stay in the left corner blocking my stats?)

For a little variety, today I decided to take selfies where I’m NOT all sweaty. Instead, I’m actually wearing makeup and sporting my ramen shirt dress, to convey how I will spend the next few days trying to eat as much ramen as possible for carbo loading without gaining too much weight. Okay, full disclosure, I may not strictly eat ramen…I may eat udon noodles or even gnocchi (all determined to have the most carb bang for the caloric buck). I will also not eat my ramen with pork, or other meat, as depicted on my dress, but hopefully with an egg.

I will wrestle with the great questions of the ages, including:

• Do I have the moral character to eat ramen noodles (udon noodles) for breakfast, lunch and dinner?
• If I eat ramen for breakfast, do I still want coffee?
• If I make a huge package of (insert pasta) will I be able to eat it all in the next few days? Will it go to waste?
• Why can’t I ever time my carb-loading with a meal out at a ramen restaurant? How do I keep missing this opportunity?
• And, back on the “I’m going ot miss this when it’s done” theme: I’ll never feel worthy of eating pasta again if I’m not marathon training. It’s all riced cauliflower for me after Oct. 7.

So Week 12 is an exciting, frightening, nebulous time in the boderlands between relief and regret. I’m not sure what post-marathon life wihout “A PLAN” is going to look like.

But I’m sure I’ll still have space in my life for goofy selfies and blog posts. And maybe even ramen in moderation.