I was just starting to think I needed to get serious about planning for any 25th Anniversary festivities we might want to have, when COVID-19 hit (or made its way into public awareness). So luckily for me, I didn’t have to cancel anything.
Instead, we officially and publicly observed our anniversary via Zoom (of course) with a service on love that we led for our church this past Sunday.
We actually prepared this service for our anniversary last year and did it IRL at the UU church in Nora. It went so well that we decided months ago to do it again at our home church for our 25th anniversary, which MSUS graciously agreed to. We were intending to do this as a traditional in-person service, but since our church transitioned to virtual services early on during the pandemic, we just had to adjust to the new mode of transmission.
So we didn’t have to do a lot of preparation for the service, as luckily the script held up really well when we re-read it. This wasn’t a vow renewal, but a collection of music and readings and some of our own writings (including the sermon Chad gave for our friends’ Megan and Allan’s wedding) that we curated. We mainly just had to work on devising the best camera and mic set-up and practice getting through the readings without crying–we didn’t even get too grumbly with each other.
All we changed was one of the songs we performed, as Chad had the brilliant idea that we could pull off a stripped-down version of The Pretenders’ “Message of Love.” It turned out surprisingly well, if I do say so myself.
It wasn’t the experience we planned on and we missed being with friends and loved ones in person. But as we’ve learned with other virtual events, there were aspects to appreciate. It was lovely that Chad’s family and our Maid of Honor Marcia were able to “be there” since they didn’t have to travel to attend. And I now have a video of part of the service that I can foist upon–I mean share with– others. (No widespread posting because of copyrighted material).
More surprisingly, while it felt disconnected not being able to see our “audience” while we were reading from a screen, it also felt intimate and appropriate to invite people into our home of 20 plus years for our anniversary. What better setting to talk about love than our dining room, with yes, some of our most beloved bottles of booze in the background?
Chad and I both had statements in our vows about cherishing the ordinary. For us (and we know we’re immensely privileged to be in this situation) COVID has forced/allowed us to slow down and spend more “ordinary” time together. And while I certainly miss so much about “normal” life, I do value getting to spend more time with Chad and have gained a new appreciation of all the little joys of daily life together. (This of course does not negate all our feelings of frustration at all the irritations of daily life together).
And while we don’t usually make music together and dance around our dining room like we did when we performed “Message of Love” during our service, we could. Maybe now we sometimes will, even without an audience besides StanLee? Hmm, an intriguing possibility to explore for the next (hopefully!) 25 years of Chamy.
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