Amy Lu's View

I LITERALLY ran into some teenagers today.

One of my pet peeves is when I think people misuse the word “literally,” (even/especially my imaginary friend/favorite podcast host Luke Burbank) so I want to be clear that I was really running (although slowly) when I ran into some teenagers who were blocking the sidewalk by walking two abreast.

I’m not proud of this act of running aggression, but I thought they would move out of the way. I’m hardly a stealthy ninja runner, and I assumed they would eventually hear the loud breathing of the middle-aged woman coming up behind them. I guess not. And by the time I realized they weren’t going to move and yelled “Excuse me!” it was too late to stop. But don’t worry, I didn’t do a full body slam into them and no one got hurt–it was more a gentle shove as I pushed through them. I’m sure they were more perplexed than anything.

But yes, I may have been unreasonably brash, as one of my other, even more firmly held pet peeves is oblivious people who block the sidewalk when they are on their strolls and I am running. This irritation combined with my obsessive desire to never stop while on a run (even to pet cute dogs or talk to friends–much less accommodate discourteous walkers) means I am a force to be reckoned with. Okay, a week and annoying force, but still a force. (I DO stop for traffic and, I feel I must confess, occasionally to walk when I am just beat)

I came close to literally running into many other people today on my “virtual” Moustache Run Half Marathon. Yes, it was 50 degrees in late November so apparently other people thought they had some business being out and about to take advantage of the last precious warm weather. The Stone Arch Bridge was a maddening obstacle course of human bodies.

So my run was irritating, and slow, and humbling, and exhausting, and even a little painful (thanks to a blister), and uncomfortable (my hands were numb even though the rest of my body was at a fine temperature) and momentarily disquieting. I wouldn’t say I was exactly “lost” but after my turnaround at the halfway point I ran by the Stone Arch Bridge and briefly had to make an exception to my “No-stopping” rule–getting my bearings is easier when I’m not running for some reason–to realize I had run past the bridge. Luckily the throng of people on it made it easy to spot so I didn’t have to call Chad to come rescue me.

My Garmin watch even had a total fail and gave me wildly high inaccurate heart rate readings throughout my run.

AND still I love that I got to do this run–even though, to repeat–I was very slow. This literally was the WORST HALF MARATHON I have ever run. There are several mitigating factors I can point to, and this would have been a fine training run, but for a “race” it was terrible.

But I wasn’t sure I could do it, and I did. THAT felt really good.

More importantly, I now feel like I’ve earned my Moustache Run sweatshirt, the most excellent, most comfortable sweatshirt I have ever owned. Perhaps my favorite piece of clothing ever. I even got a cool stocking cap! The Moustache Run definitely has amazing swag.

Technically, I could have earned that sweatshirt on Nov. 7 when I ran a Half Marathon (which was faster, though still slow), but that was my (self-proclaimed) “Post-Election it Looks Like Biden Really Won Thank God” Half Marathon where I wore my Biden t-shirt even though it was too hot and sticky for it. I could have also counted that as my Mustache Run (it just has to be completed between Nov. 1 and Dec. 15) but I’ve discovered that one of my self-created rules for life is that races shouldn’t double-dip like that.

More importantly, I didn’t yet have my race bling at that time so I couldn’t take selfies with my most awesome medal.

Theoretically, I still have two-ish weeks yet to do another Half Marathon where I don’t totally suck but with cold weather and whatnot that doesn’t seem likely to happen. I’m definitely going to keep running (so the world will not be spared from Amy running selfies), and doing cardio workouts (thank you stationary bike) but long distance running requires a whole different mojo that unfortunately dissipates pretty quickly. (Not to worry–I can build it back up when the spring rolls around).

Teenagers take note–the sidewalks of NE Minneapolis aren’t safe for you yet!