Amy Lu's View

My mom got fired for getting pregnant with me. 

This story has always been part of the lore of my life. I don’t remember a time when my mom was alive when she didn’t tell this story. It’s seeped into my narrative DNA. 

It may or may not be true, or entirely true, from a “reality” standpoint, but it’s a story that’s conveyed a lot of truth to me throughout my life. 

I’ve recently been inspired by Mother’s Day to try and share this story of my mom in her honor. It feels like a complicated story to explain, though, so I decided to try it as a script (not sure for stage or screen) to make it easier to tell. 

Although my mom frequently told this story, I sadly didn’t pay close attention to it. I make no claims about the factual accuracy of this story (anything that IS accurate is thanks to my sister re-hashing this with me). 

Without further ado, I now present: 

The Ballad of Colleen (a short play)

SCENE 1: (Superintendent’s office)

DASTARDLY SUPERINTENDENT (DS): MRS. LUEDTKE!!! You are pregnant with your THIRD child? The third?! This is unseemly! Elementary teachers should NOT show such an obvious sign of having engaged in sexual activity. PLUS, your husband is rarely home, as he works out of town on a construction site as Fred Flinstone. How do we even know that HE is the father of this baby?! In light of this scandalous behavior, your career here as a teacher at (REDACTED) Elementary School is over! When you go home at Christmas break, do not return. You may re-apply for a position next fall, and we will see if you have seen the errors of your ways and repented. We may, may rehire you…now go! You are dismissed! 

[Close-up on Colleen. She looks strong and determined. She does not dignify this buffoon with a response and strides out of the office]. 

SCENE 2: (Superintendent’s office, later that day. DS is on phone)

Hello?…Yes, Principal So-and-So…I have fired Colleen Luedtke and I do NOT want you to hire her, got it? I am blacklisting her! Yes, goodbye….(hangs up and dials) Hello…Yes, Principal So-and-So Number Two, this is Dastardly Superintendent and you are NOT to hire Colleen Luedtke because I have said so, goodbye!…(hangs up and dials again): Hello, Principal of Halmstad Elementary, do not hire Colleen Luedtke, she is a woman of ill-repute, and I have spoken! 

(Cut to PRINCIPAL of HALMSTAD ELEMENTARY in his office): What?! No one tells ME who to hire! If that Colleen applies I will hire her!

SCENE 3: (Years later, early-mid 1970’s.. Colleen Luedtke is a successful and much-loved  teacher at Halmstad Elementary in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. A celebratory ceremony is underway to recognize the innovation of Halmstad Elementary, featuring a speech by Dastardly Superintendent.) 

DASTARDLY SUPERINTENDENT: As a very important person renowned in my field of Elementary Education, I want to say how impressed I am by Halmstad Elementary, an OPEN school with NO INTERIOR WALLS separating classrooms. Yes, people will look back at us and marvel at how impressive we were in the seventies. Now I will welcome each teacher at Halmstad Elementary to come on stage and be recognized and blessed by me for being part of this amazing endeavor. 

(Teachers file past the Dastardly Superintendent and shake his hand, like a graduation ceremony, until finally COLLEEN LUEDTKE takes the stage, approaches the DASTARDLY SUPERINTENDENT and shakes his hand).

COLLEEN LUEDTKE: Thank you for firing me. Escaping your inept clutches and coming to work at this beacon of enlightenment known as Halmstad Elementary where I am loved and respected was the best thing that ever happened to me. 

[CLOSE-UP ON DASTARDLY SUPERINTENDENT WHO LOOKS MORTIFIED AND WILL OBVIOUSLY SPEND THE REST OF THIS DAYS WRACKED WITH REMORSE]. 

SCENE 4: Also mid-seventies. Colleen receives a phone call from a representative of NOW (National Organization for Women). 

NOW REP: MS Luedtke! We at NOW have learned how you were screwed by THE MAN and we want to take your case to court! We will represent you and get justice and smash the patriarchy! And we will get you money!

COLLEEN LUEDTKE: Thanks, but no thanks. Where were you when this wrong happened? I don’t want to spend years in court, and I think you are more interested in making a political point than in me as a person. I will continue to happily teach at Halmstad Elementary and live out on the tundra with my three children and teach them to always stand up for what’s right. 

THE END (Fadeout to “I Am Woman” by Helen Reddy”)

I did wish that my mom had let NOW sue on her behalf, but I also understand why she didn’t. I think this also taught me there ways to “fight” and triumph that might be less obvious.

I learned so much from this story: Patriarchy and injustice are real and formidable (okay, I didn’t actually have a word for “patriarchy” until college); women need to be resilient and strong; having a career can be important for women. I don’t remember my mom every saying “I’m a feminist’ or even talking about feminism, but I think she taught me to be a feminist by this story and how she lived her entire life, whether or not she intended to.

Most importantly, I learned “Don’t Mess With Colleen” and how lucky I was to have Colleen in my corner.