Amy Lu's View

I felt so defeated–I just put my head down on the table.

What calamity led me to these depths of despair? Was I thinking about global warming, learning to play and sing a difficult song, or the likelihood of ever getting all my clothes put away?

No, I had just learned that the restaurant we were at was out of the portobello mushroom sandwich which I had already ordered (and paid for) and the waitress was trying to substitute it with a Beyond Burger. 

Yes, you might think I was being a little extra, but please consider the backstory: The evening before, when we arrived in Pittsburgh, we weren’t able to find any restaurant that was open after 9:30 (when we got out of the opening session of our Unitarian Universalist convention) so I went to bed a little hungry. Then, in the morning, the convention hall breakfast buffet that was promised did not materialize. So, by the time I was trying to order brunch/lunch after the first convention session of the day (around noon) I was pretty darn hungry. 

When we found a cafe nearby to the convention center that served breakfast sandwiches, I was optimistic that I would be able to get something sans meat–seems like a pretty typical offering. But no, all their breakfast sandwiches had not only egg (which I do eat) but also meat (which I don’t, besides fish, which is another topic). Okay, fine, I could pivot to lunch and get a portobello mushroom sandwich. 

So, by the time I learned I could NOT in fact get a portobello mushroom sandwich, I was beyond hangry…I was sad, and despairing, and hungry…maybe I was feeling Hunspair (Hunger + Despair)?

Would I ever be able to find a moderately filling, not excessively caloric, vegetarian meal in this town? (I was opposed to the Beyond Burger because in my estimation Beyond Burger has a low ROI–a lot of calories for an overly processed patty). 

My little meltdown, authentic as it was, was embarrassing–to me, and Chad. Being embarrassed is okay, though–a good lesson that I’m human. But I felt especially terrible when the waitress said she comped our meal (just how unhinged did I seem?) because I hoped I didn’t cause problems or distress for her–none of this was her fault. It’s okay to have emotions, and to even act melodramatically and messily, but not to inflict that on others, at least not when the “tragedy” is small and not caused by anyone’s malice. 

My “not being able to find food and oh my god I’m going to starve” meltdown wasn’t really about being hungry, or even calories (okay, definitely some of it was about calories) but about my desire to be in control, my unrealistic expectations for maximizing my vacation, and my fear of wasting time. Yes, I know I’m not really in control of most things, and I know my time isn’t really all that precious, but the thought of continuing to wander around Pittsburgh looking for food when I was supposed to be an ultra tourist discovering the delights of this new city was maddening to me. 

But I DID get some food–I was able to get an egg only breakfast sandwich after all, with a side salad, and some french fries (the calories in the fries and the sandwich croissant were totally worth it)–and mellowed out a bit. In the end, I had a pretty awesome trip: I had many notable touristry experiences, attended some of the church convention we were there for, and even found more vegetarian, not-too-calorie laden meals. (And I got a lot of potential blog content!)

And maybe I’ve learned just a little bit more about having a sense of perspective and humor when dealing with life’s little setbacks.

I’ve definitely learned to always carry some snacks if I leave the house for more than two hours.