Amy Lu's View

I’m often content to stay close to home, without spending time in shared communal spaces. So when I do go out in the world, I should be thankful if my outing is full of unique and memorable experiences. 

In other words, I recently had a night that was rather annoying and somewhat stressful, but the upside is it gives me something to blog about.

My plan for the night was to see free, live local music (The New Standards) at Mears Park in St. Paul. 

I love seeing free music–and not just because I’m cheap and love a bargain. Free music shows feel like a gift. As someone who grew up in the middle of nowhere, I can’t get over that I have so many options to go see live music. For free. I also love having a reason to hang out in beautiful, or even so-so, summer weather. I love the ambience of outdoor shows, including when cute little kids are running around. I love the flexibility–yes, I make plans to see shows, but if things change I don’t feel too bad about wasting a ticket. I don’t have to be on time and I can leave whenever I want. 

I’m much more likely to check out musicians I’ve never heard of or who play a style I don’t usually listen to because it’s free. Although, in the case of The New Standards, I was interested in seeing them because they were The New Standards–a pretty big deal in the local music scene. 

That’s what I told my new would-be friend, and one of the annoyances, of the evening. My would-be friend–hereafter known as “WBF–was a very chatty guy who sat next me and wanted to know what I knew about the band, if I was a big fan, etc. etc. Ugh. I don’t know if he was trying to pick me up, or just trying to be social and friendly, but I just wasn’t interested in talking with him that much.

Sure, a little conversation with strangers can be a cool thing, and he was definitely harmless and not at all inappropriate, but I wasn’t in the mood to spend energy on an extended social interaction with someone I didn’t know. Finally, when he started to tell me about the music he makes (with his daughter, which does sound heartwarming) and asking me if I used Sound Cloud, I relocated. 

Okay, fine Amy, you may be saying, but was one overly talkative but harmless WBF dude who may, or may not, have been hitting on you, enough to make a whole evening “annoying”? 

No, my WBF was just seasoning in a recipe of bad weather, bad timing, and bad direction. 

I did not want to stay at the show too long because stormy weather was on its way, and I knew it would probably take me a long time to find where I had parked my car, so I wanted to leave around 8:00. 

But…The New Standards didn’t even start playing until 8. And yes, while the opening act was amazing and even featured an exceptional drummer who sang lead, and even though I just wrote about how I love discovering new-to-me acts, I really wanted to see The New Standards. 

So I stayed past 8:00, and just caught a few phenomenal The New Standards songs, and then left to find my car, and got horribly lost as the sky got darker and darker. I finally found my car, spent about 5 minutes thinking I would never figure out how to get out of the parking ramp, finally got on the road and missed my interstate exit, got on the correct exit and while driving toward some seriously scary dark clouds got stuck in traffic because of road work. 

Not surprisingly, I was very relieved when I finally made it home and celebrated with some festive beverage. 

So…was the night a bust? Am I going to renounce my love of free concerts?

No, and not just because the evening gave me something to blog about. 

As I examine my reactions and what bothered me about the evening, I realize it wasn’t really fear of being caught in a storm or stress about not finding my car or being flustered by an awkward social situation. No, what I really hate is the feeling of wasting time. I was supposed to be seeing The New Standards, and I put significant effort into seeing The New Standards, and the amount of time I actually saw The New Standards did not justify what I invested in the evening. My ROI wasn’t high enough. 

At least, that’s how I felt in the moment. But once again, I think I have the opportunity to learn a little lesson about not always trying to maximize my time. I can try to learn to accept that things, big and small, will not always go according to plan, to learn to be more open to things as they are, not as I think they should be, and to appreciate the moment that I’m actually living. 

Even though I didn’t catch that much of The New Standards show, perhaps the evening can inspire me to have some new standards for personal chillness. (I think I’m going to keep my current standard of not being too welcoming to unsolicited WBFs, though).