Amy Lu's View

This week I finished reading a book–a book that I started reading in September 2021. 

Why did it take me so long to read this book? 

One contributing factor is that I didn’t find the book, “The Big Door Prize,”* a novel by M.O. Walsh, super compelling. I enjoyed it, and was even frequently inspired and moved by the writing. At least once per chapter I encountered a sentence that made me stop and think “Chad could use this in a sermon!”

“Strings of emotional connection seemed to unfrul from inside him and roll out to attach themselves to every person in the world that Jacob could have hurt by his inaction. What a gloroius and invisible map. How had it been so diffuclt for him to see this before? All of us connected in so many silent ways. Our friends. Our framiles. Those we are soon to meet. The people we need to all again.”

an example of a beautiful quote from”The Big Door Prize” by M.O. Walsh

Despite everything the book had going for it, the parts didn’t add up to a whole that I found engrossing. I never got really invested in the characters or their lives. 

But the real reason that it took me so long to read is that it was a real paper book that I had to literally read, rather than listen to. 

Chad jokes frequently about how his librarian wife doesn’t read, and it’s true. At least, I don’t read paper, or even digital, fiction books. I read physical magazines, the occasional chapters of paper nonfiction books, and a great deal of internet content, but I only consume fiction by listening to audiobooks.

Years ago I started listening to audiobooks when I was running and I got hooked. I usually prefer audiobooks because I can do other things–running, driving, latch hook, dishes–while I listen to them. It’s typically hard for me to sit for significant stretches of time and read. I almost never try to read in bed because I immediately fall asleep. With audiobooks I don’t have to worry about having a pair of reading glasses or eye strain. 

One of the things I love most about listening to an audiobook while I am moving–running or walking–is how the story becomes physically connected to me. I can’t adequately describe this, but I develop strong connections between the story and the place where I’ve listened to it.

Listening to a book isn’t the same experience as reading a book, but I don’t think that makes one method better than the other. They both had advantages that are going to make them a better fit based on circumstances and personal preference. 

Why am I delving into this “are audiobooks as good as reading” debate? Am I just feeling defensive because as a librarian, I’m self-conscious about rarely actually reading? Or, am I trying to confound the librarian stereotype and demonstrate what a radical I am? 

Mainly, I think it’s just noteworthy that I finally finished something that took me almost two years to do. I’m a little bemused and slightly chagrined that it took me so long, but also feeling accomplished that I did finally finish (even if I didn’t remember the characters or plot as well as I could have if it hadn’t taken me almost two years to read the book). I’m reminding myself that I can read a book when I need or want to. 

And I do want to embrace my librarian identity and encourage people to delve into books however they need or want to. (I even have my hair up in a half ass bun as I write this). 

I’m also enjoying outing myself as a radical librarian who rarely reads. And guess what– I also judge books by their covers. 

*Yes, the title of the book comes from the John Prine song “In Spite of Ourselves,” which was the reason I picked the book up. Every chapter of the book comes from a John Prine song, which definitely is in the book’s favor.