Amy Lu's View

“The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let things go.”

–Facebook

I’m not above finding wisdom in an inspirational quote I see on Facebook. So when I saw the above quote, accompanied by a beautiful photo of colorful autumn leaves, I got inspired to think (and of course, blog) about what I might want to let go of. Afterall, I adore the colors of the changing fall leaves (and taking copious photos of them, see a sample below) so surely this metaphor should unlock some insight for me. 

What do I want to let go of? This question challenges me when I try to move from vague blanket statements (“I should let go of guilt”) to specifics (guilt about making our dog Olive go out in the rain for her “bathroom break” the night before she died). My specific things to let go also range from rather mundane and simple actions or objects to complicated, deeply embedded thoughts and habits. 

Some things I’m currently considering letting go of:

• My dead indoor mini-sunflower plant (now gone!)
• Trying to attain and maintain my “ideal” weight
• Clothes that aren’t working out or I don’t need
• Running an in-person race in 2023 (I’ve mostly accepted that this isn’t going to happen)
• Running at a certain pace and/or running a certain number of miles–I’m currently entertaining being able to run 1500 miles in 2023–only need to run about 3 miles a day for the rest of year, which would be completely doable if it wasn’t for winter weather and holidays
• Being frustrated when my Garmin watch doesn’t accurately track my heart rate when I’m running (okay, probably enough running related items for now)
• The broccoli and snow peas in our refrigerator that have gone bad (ongoing struggle)
• Being dismayed by using frayed latch hook yarn 
• Staying awake to finish watching a TV show
• Solving Wordle everyday
• Getting TikTok (I let that go months ago and am totally comfortable with my status as a non-TikTok user)
• Refusing to run the dishwasher until every last inch of space in it is filled 
• Angst over not getting cast in a show ever again–I may not, but being angsty doesn’t help and if I’m not, that’s more time for blogging!
• Pumpkin spice flavored treats–eventually the season will be over, but yesterday I found the pumpkin pie spice hummus I love at Target AND I still have a box of Pumpkin spice Special K! (I’m not into Pumpkin spice lattes or drinks of any kind, or any lattes)
• Doing laundry and having all the socks match up (I just “lost” a sock before it even made it to the laundry)
• Feeling bad about not responding optimally in a social situation and/or worrying that I took up too much space
• Keeping up on all the music of and news about my favorite musicians (it’s okay if I’m just a “casual” fan)
• Eating “free” food (more accurately, included) at a conference or meeting that I don’t really want just because I can’t pass up a good deal
• All the unread emails in my inbox from various newsletters

I love creating lists for my blog posts, but lists can make things look deceptively uncomplicated. “Letting go” can be nuanced because of timing: some things I can let go of once (like my dead sunflower) and some I might need to let go of repeatedly (like my weight obsession and degraded broccoli). Other things I only need to let go of depending on the time and circumstance (no need to stay up all night tonight trying to get Wordle, but tomorrow I can try again). 

The most complicated thing about “letting go” is deciding how it’s different from “giving up.”

Perhaps digging into the inspirational Facebook quote metaphor will help: Autumn leaves don’t just burst into gorgeous photo-perfect colors all at once. Changing leaves are unpredictable and uneven. Sometimes they disappoint. Falling–and fallen–leaves are messy. Eventually leaves turn brown and tree branches end up bare. 

And then the cycle starts up again. 

Can I find the whole process of change and release beautiful, not just the flashy bits? Probably not–but I’m not ready to let go of letting go.