Amy Lu's View

Hey there, Reader of My Blog Post! You clearly have great tastes in blog reading! Happy Pay a Compliment Day!

I love being complimented. I may love it a little too much, and I may have a slightly unhealthy desire for praise and affirmation. I’m sure this is related to my love of performance…you can’t compliment me if you don’t see me, after all. 

Compliments seem like they should be simple to give and receive (“Hey, I like this about you!” followed up by “That’s neato, thanks!”), but I think for many of us they’re not. As much as I love getting a compliment, my self-doubt and insecurity often gets in the way, and a little (or not-so-little) voice inside me wonders if I just got a back-handed compliment (even unintentionally). “Hmmm, you think I did this thing really well this time…does that mean you usually think I suck at it?” 

And giving compliments can feel hard, especially if I’m in overthinking mode. If I compliment someone’s hair, will they think I’m shallow and only value them for their physical appearance? Or if I compliment their jewelry am I materialistic? What if my compliment sounds trite or insincere? 

Compliments can fall flat, but I still want to err on the side of over giving them. I want to actually let people know I like them and what they do and how they move through the world, even if the compliment is about something small and trivial. And I do aspire to give more meaningful compliments that show I’m really paying attention and appreciating something unique about someone. Being a good compliment giver seems like an exercise in awareness and gratitude–tuning into the big and little awesome things about people, including strangers, acquaintances, and those who are close to me.  

If you notice I’m getting better at being complimentary, please feel free to compliment me on that!