Amy Lu's View

“Wow, you really don’t know how to follow, do you? I gave you a pretty strong cue about which way I wanted you to turn and you went the opposite way. You had to work harder to NOT follow me than to follow me.” 

Chad offered this evaluation a couple of Sundays ago after he attempted to spontaneously dance with me at church. (Yes, we have that kind of church). 

Chad wasn’t wrong. I always have an extremely hard time following his lead when we dance. We’ve even taken dancing lessons a couple of times throughout the years and I still struggle with following. 

This isn’t because I’m trying to be difficult or contrary. I’m not making a philosophical statement against patriarchal gender norms. I think I’m just highly uncoordinated and have little body awareness and or proprioception (sense of where my body is in its physical environment–yes look at me using a fancy science word!). 

Despite, or maybe because of, my awkwardness, our brief dance was fun and funny for us, and possibly endearing for onlookers. 

I’m also bad at following directions. Obviously, with my lack of a sense of geographic direction, those are hard for me to follow because I don’t really understand where I am in time and space. But I also find following multi-step procedural directions, especially for techy things, tedious and stressful. 

I do think I follow orders pretty well, especially if they’re simple, clear, and I don’t have any moral objection to them. At work, I often prefer to just be told what I need to do, without detailed explanation.  

I’m frequently not great at following the plot of whatever TV show or movie we watch, especially at home–I’m usually just not paying enough attention. 

It’s probably obvious that my chosen holiday for today has something to do with following: Today I’ve chosen to celebrate “Courageous Follower Day.” It’s inspired by the book “The Courageous Follower: Standing Up To and For Our Leaders,” by Ira Chaleff, which I’ve never read (and have no intention to). At best, it sounds like corporate babble, and worst, it sounds culty. 

But there may be something to needing courage to be a successful follower. I may have trouble following Chad when we dance because I don’t have the courage to dance without worrying about looking like an idiot.