Amy Lu's View

“The biggest challenge for you must have been acting like you were reluctant to take your clothes off.”

I love this (paraphrased) observation that my friend B made after seeing me recently in Expressions Community Theater’s production of “Calendar Girls.” I interpreted it as praise of my acting chops, and it made me feel very seen. 

It’s not that I don’t have any qualms about taking my clothes off on stage, but I do have a fair amount of experience doing it. Okay, I’m not sure what a normal amount of experience for this is, but since 2010, I’ve been in five shows (including Calendar Girls) that involved me appearing in my underwear on stage. Now Calendar Girls was certainly the most “extensive” of these appearances and I am using a broad definition of what constitutes an underwear-clad moment–my first instance involved a sports bra so that may not count, and I’m also including a scene where I was in a bra and a skirt. 

I do have body image issues and concerns about how I look scantily clad, but (surprisingly?) these feelings aren’t as strong as they can be in real life situations, where I am more fully clad and just trying to look snazzy. The theater scenes are brief, and not presented in a “hey look at this hottie” way. Okay, when I was the Ring Girl (aforementioned sports bra instance) that WAS basically a “look at this hottie” context but I did feel rather hot at that time. And for the other times, being in my underwear has felt like an integral part of the show that audiences would just take in their stride. There are also so many other things to worry about when acting–knowing my lines and my blocking and managing my props–that I’m forced to have a more utilitarian attitude to disrobing. 

Again, I want to be clear that I’m not saying that I wasn’t nervous about being on stage in panties and boob tape for Calendar Girls, but it was a brief scene, and my back was to the audience and my butt was mostly covered. Most importantly, our director was extremely conscientious and respectful, and I was sharing the experience with five other amazing cast mates. It was a delightfully bonding experience–how many people can say they’ve been nearly naked on stage together?

I think I had more anxiety about flashing my undies last fall when I did the monologue where I played an aspiring life model. Maybe I felt more anxious because I was the only one on stage, and it was a small theater, or maybe it was because I had campaigned to do the show and have the role so I felt like I was putting myself out there more. I also had this weird anxiety that I was going to forget to leave my underwear on (not sure how that would happen) and really be naked when I opened my robe up (that didn’t happen).

Despite all these anxieties and logistical headaches (did I mention how annoying boob tape is?) during my “acting in only underwear” career, I think it took the most courage for me to appear in long underwear back in high school. I faced this challenge when I played the Empress in our gender swapped version of the Emperor’s New Clothes (August was so forward looking!) This angst isn’t too surprising–I was sixteen (if I’ve got my dates right), so everything was mortifying, and I was a little bit heavier then and body positivity (and spanx) wasn’t really a thing in the 80s, and long underwear just isn’t that flattering for most of us mere mortals. But I powered through and did it, proving to myself that I was brave and perhaps sowing the seeds for future antics in underwear-clad acting. 

While I’m not exactly eager to take my clothes off on stage, it does make a role feel a little extra and exciting, and it does make me feel bold. So I will admit that I was a bit disappointed recently when I did NOT get to appear in a bikini when I had a bit part as a sexy double agent spy. The bikini scene was in the script, but the director thought it was gratuitous. I couldn’t argue with him in good conscience, and the scene worked great the way he staged it without the bikini scene–it was probably even funnier. See, I can put art ahead of my need for attention!

I’ve used my friend’s comment as a spark to discuss my onstage near-nudity, but maybe she meant I’m looking for opportunities to disrobe in real life? I don’t think so–I actually consider myself a tad on the conservative side when it comes to dressing to show skin. (Yes, I could just ask my friend what she meant, but speculation is so much more fun than direct communication). I do have some sense that being on stage in my underwear can be appropriate, but showing too much skin in real life (unless on the beach or at the pool) can just make me feel a little desperate (not that it should make anyone else feel desperate if that’s how they like to dress–You do you!). Oh sometimes I worry (hope?) I’m wearing a top that is too low-cut or a dress that is too short, but then I usually see others, sometimes even other middle-aged ladies, with more dramatic percentages of their bodies on display.

In the midst of all this excitement and fear, I have always kept my drawers on (literally) and have never been completely naked on stage. I’ve also kept my drawers on in the figurative sense, and have never become totally unhinged about being undressed. And yes, this is a rather tortured route to getting to use the phrase “keep your drawers on” which may only make sense to people over 50 from rural Wisconsin. Or maybe it’s something only my mom and sister said, as in “Keep your drawers on Amy, you will have a chance to shop for Empire Strikes Back trading cards soon.”