Amy Lu's View

“Oh yeah, I’m a Unitarian Universalist minister. I filled out something online so that I could do my friend’s wedding.”

–Guy at Bar (paraphrased)

We had just sat down at the bar in the really cool Speakeasy at our hotel in Pittsburgh, when we heard the guy next to us say that. 

I knew that couldn’t possibly be true, but my brain had basically shut down because I was rather tired and totally focused on getting a drink, so I didn’t even try to say anything to correct him.

But Chad piped in: “No, you can’t be a Unitarian Universalist minister, because you have to go to seminary for that–I’m in seminary for it right now. You’re probably ordained with the Universal Life Church–I did that, too, years ago, so I could perform a wedding.” (also paraphrased). 

“Yeah,” I chimed in, “I signed him up for it online.”

“Okay, cool,” said the guy as he packed up and headed out. “Have a good night.”

I’m pretty sure that guy wasn’t really listening to us and didn’t take in what we said, and he still thinks he’s a Unitarian Universalist minister. Oh well, we tried to set the record straight. 

“Thank you for saying that!” exclaimed the woman who had been sitting on the other side of Mistakenly Self-Proclaimed Minister Guy. Turns out, she actually WAS a Unitarian Universalist and although she didn’t go to seminary, she was a Commissioned Lay Minister with her congregation. Chad is also a Commissioned Lay Minister (yeah, we’re getting into the ministerial weeds here so it’s okay if you’ve stopped paying attention, the takeaway is the Universal Life Church is NOT the same as the Unitarian Universalist Church.)

Why were there so many Unitarian Universalists at one bar? We were all gathered in the same city, Pittsburgh, for our annual national convention, and this bar was in one of the official convention hotels. (I assume the topic of Unitatarian Universalist ministers came up with Mistakenly Self-Proclaimed Minister Guy because the lady mentioned why she was in Pittsburgh).

It’s tricky to explain to others what Unitarian Universalism is–we don’t have a creed and there aren’t that many of us. It’s usually easier to say what we’re not–we’re not Christian (at least not the majority of us) or theists (again, there is definitely variety with that), we’re not “preachy” or “judgemental” (at least, not in the ways we stereotypically think religious people are, but if we catch you not recycling, watch out). 

You can swear in front of us, and with us, and drink alcohol, too (unless we’re not drinking because of health or whatever reasons that aren’t directly related to being a UU). 

I would like to get better at explaining what a UU is in a clear, simple, and concise way, especially if I’m going to be a minister’s wife. I’d like that description to be positive in the sense that it illuminates what we are all about (love, community, justice, equity) and not just what we aren’t. 

I aspire to being able to give a good UU elevator speech, but this will not be the post to do that. (I’m happy to talk about being a UU in any other venue, as long as you accept I’ll be inarticulate and long-winded).  

This is the post where I just share a little hopefully humorous anecdote that highlights that it’s frustrating to have something important to you be so deeply misunderstood, but that it’s also uplifting to make connections with people who DO get you. It’s an anecdote that illustrates we should always be humble because whatever we think is a BIG DEAL might not even be interesting to others, but that it’s also good to take pride in what’s special to us and to try to speak our truths. 

This post also hopefully clarifies what Chad IS going to seminary for, and explains that he does not need to take graduate level courses and spend thousands of dollars and hours and hours of his time to fill out an online form (he had me to fill out the online form for him). 

But no matter how you think of Chad–as a Commissioned Lay Unitarian Universalist MInister, or an in-process ordained Unitarian Universalist Minister, or a Universal Life Church Minister–he does an amazing job officiating weddings and I love accompanying him at weddings, so please book him!