Amy Lu's View

My high school mascot was The Beavers.

My hometown summer festival (although I didn’t actually live in “the town” of 1,500 but in the country) was Bean and Bacon Days.

Just enjoy both those facts for a moment. I think they tell you a lot about my formative years.

During this Fourth of July Season, I’ve been reminiscing a lot about Bean and Bacon Days as it was always celebrated around the Fourth of July.

Now I’m tempted to make this blog a snark fest about how my current sophisticated self is bemused by the goofiness of Bean and Bacon Days. But the world really doesn’t need any more amateur snark these days.

It would also be pretty hypocritical of me to imply that I thought Bean and Bacon Days was odd or silly in any way. For most of my youth, I didn’t even question it–I don’t think I even realized it was in honor of the Bush’s bean factory in our town (which does suggest it was a bit of a failure as a marketing endeavor). It was Just The Way Things Were–didn’t everybody celebrate Bean and Bacon Days every summer?

For me, the highlight of the Bean and Bacon Days festivities was theatrical–no surprise. Our youth summer theater performances were held during B&B Days. In fact, I think my theater origin story is rooted in those days, because my mom enrolled me in the program (and drove me to daily rehearsals). I think my first production was “Alice in Wonderland” and I was cast as The March Hare (NOT the White Rabbit, as everyone always assumed, thank you very much!).

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From that first taste of theater, I was hooked. Several plays based on fairy tale classics: “Cinderella,” “Alice in Wonderland,” “The Empress’s New Clothes,” “The Red Shoes” and “The Pied Piper Of Hamelin” (which we heavily re-wrote) followed (not necessarily in that order).

Yes, I was over the moon when I was cast as Snow White in, you guessed it, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.” I was shallowly impressed to be the “title” character and therefore “lead” even though it wasn’t that exciting of a part. We also did a hippie 60’s version which was probably as silly and painful as it sounds (luckily and/or unfortunately, this was all in days before any of us rural folk had video recording devices).

And you may have noticed that we did “The Empresses’s New Clothes” which had far more to do with casting desperation than 80’s era wokeness, and I also got to be that title character. But that was more terrifying than exciting, and I wore LONG underwear. (Yes, if I was cast in that role today I would be advocating to have my costume include a garter belt).

(Okay, I promise I won’t turn this into a recap of every Augusta children’s summer theater role I had, although I am very tempted to do so. Maybe snark would be better? AND can I follow a sentence in a parenthesis with a whole section in parenthesis?)

In many ways, summer felt like a downhill slide after B&B Days/the Fourth (we were also living on rural time so we got out of school in mid-May and started up again at the end of August). I’m sure I didn’t know what the solstice was back then, but it’s appropriate that this all happened a couple of weeks after the solstice. It was definitely the zenith of my year in many ways.

In addition to my theater memories, I also have some recollections of marching in the parade in extremely hot wool band uniforms and cursing the flutists who had light instruments to carry (as opposed to my snare drum that actually wasn’t all that heavy but bruised my leg), and street dances, and eventually, the Miss Augusta Contest. Oh my, yes, Miss Augusta COULD be a whole ‘nother post if not blog.

And no, I only did not win Miss Augusta but lost in a very non-climatic way–not with bang, but with a whimper–even though my talent was playing drums. Maybe getting in the Too Beautiful Too Live talent show for playing drums was some redemption?

I don’t have many recollections of bacon, though. I wasn’t a vegetarian or even a pseudo-Wisconsin-70’s vegetarian then, but I think this was before bacon was super trendy.

*Since bacon IS trendy now, did this title make you read this?

Until last Monday. That’s the first time I ever purchased a tomatillo for home consumption, through Imperfect Foods.

It’s not so much that I had a stance against buying tomatillos, but I was never brave enough. I wasn’t really sure what they were. Occassionally I would see them in a grocery store and think, “Ooh, that looks exciting” but I would always decide that figuring out what a tomatillo actually was and what to do with it would take too much work.

But with the magic of internet shopping and home delivery, I decided I could take a plunge on tomatillos.

Now this is the point in the blog that people may be tempted to share their salsa verde recipes with me. And while I’m sure you have lovely and amazing salsa verde recipes, they will be wasted on me because I have no intention or desire (at least at this point of my life) to make anything that requires using a blender or any type of kitchen appliance beyond a coffee maker.

I do like that because I took the plunge and bought some tomatillos and did some Googling on what to do with them, I now know (or think I know) that salsa verde is often made from tomatillos. I assumed tomatillos were some type of pepper, and did not realize they are basically a type of green tomato. Thanks to the interwebs, I nnow know I can just peel off the husk and eat them raw or throw them into whatever Amy “stir-fry” (which involves a method of cooking that is somewhere between frying and sauteing) I am making.

Yes, I know I could do many other things with them and these are not necessarily the recommended or tastiest, but they are the easiest.

I like to think of myself as adventurous when it comes to food (and life), but the range of foods I eat and prepare is actually pretty limited. This doesn’t really have much to do with my lack of cooking skills or food curiousity, but wanting to eat as much as I can for the least amount of calories. And I do like my food rituals and routines.

Still, buying and eating a new food at home is a small excitement. For someone who grew up with very limited midwestern food options, I appreciate the choices (however small) that I never had as kid.

And food (for everyone I know except Chad) is always more than just fuel. It’s very symbolic. That’s why cilantro, although very contentious, will always epitomize food freedom and possibilities (and yes, it’s silly, but sophistication) to me.

But I need to ease into more regular tomatillo purchases. I won’t be getting it this week, and will stick with my modern staples of brussel sprouts and kale.

It’s Global Beatles Day.

That should be more than enough inspiration for a blog post, but all I’ve got is a little anecdote of disappointment. I went to excavate photos of when my friend Jennifer and I did a Beatles tour of Liverpool almost 30 years ago. And I actually found them. Success!

But the quality of the photos is so so crappy I can’t share them via social media. Sadness!

Yes, I went to Liverpool and all I brought back was six blurry photos. My how times have changed, indeed. (Jennifer are your photos as lousy?)

Of course, the main point is that I DID get to go to Liverpool and it WAS amazing and at least I remember I was there. Definitely a pilgrimage. Maybe I even paid more attention to the experience because I wasn’t constantly taking photos or posting on Facebook during it?

Maybe… although I would certainly enjoy some viewable photos now.

So I guess you will just have to take my word that I saw Penny Lane and Strawberry Fields thirty years ago, even without photographic evidence. Would you believe me that we grabbed a drink with Paul?

Instead, I will share a current selfie while I’m sporting my Beatles lyrics shirt, featuring the words to these 100 Beatles songs: https://www.litographs.com/pages/beatles-songs. (Yes, it’s super irritating that “the” is included in the song title for alphabetizing purposes. Do not alphabetize by an article for the love of all that is good!)

Friday was StanLee B.’s Second Birthday! We think. As he was a rescue dog, we don’t know his birthday for certain. June 19 is the date our vet picked for him based on their best guess. (We don’t think they were trying to honor Juneteenth).

The resuce organization that we adopted him from told us his birthday was in April, so I’m happier to think his birthday is in June. Hopefully that means we’ll have a little more time with him.

Yes, I’m getting a bit morbid about SLB’s lifespan already. It’s hard not to with pets, as our time with them feels so limited. Not that I want SLB to have quite as much youthful energy as he does for the rest of his life. I’m hopeful that at three he’ll achieve more of a balance between energy and maturity (as in not being quite so hyper and actually able to live with our cats).

How about he just stops aging at three, and stays three until we die. Is that too much to ask?

Oh, and I don’t want to go too far down this rabbit hole, but that whole “one dog year = seven human years” equation is completely inaccurate. I’m actually a little shocked to have just Googled that a two-year-old dog is equivalent to a 24-year-old human (https://pets.webmd.com/dogs/how-to-calculate-your-dogs-age).

We don’t usually celebrate our pets’ birthdays because we lack the wherewithal and they don’t feel slighted. But this year I was inspired to take note because I was shamed by his puppy daycare sending a birthday card and treat home with him. I also realized I was missing out on a great social media/blog opportunity if I didn’t mark his birthday in some way.

So, what better way to celebrate StanLee’s birthday than by making him take selfies with me! Okay, he actually got to go “fishing” with Chad (his favorite game) and I made him a cake! I’m actually pretty proud of the quick and lazy cake I came up with–a rice cake topped with peanut butter and dried banana chips, two of StanLee’s favorite foods (actually, mine too). I’m constantly having to watch myself so that I don’t eat up his banana chips.

It’s been 3 months since I started living in lockdown. I gave up a while ago on marking the passage of every week, but it’s hard to ignore this milestone.

“Lockdown” is too dramatic of a word for my situation (luckily!). Other common terms– like “quarantine” or “shelter in place”–don’t seem quite right either. I think “hermitage” may be the most accurate but I’m not sure that will catch on.

So much has changed in 3 months, but this is also just life. I’ve learned some lessons, had many feels, radically changed my habits and daily life–and it’s just life.

(Disclaimer–this is just a very narcisstic look at my very lucky life, and I’m not tackling any reflection on racial justice in this space because that feels inappropriate).

I’m also going to try to avoid pontificating about the meaning of or future of the pandemic–nobody needs that from me. Let’s just say I’m not expecting life to go back to the way it was. I think COVID-19 remains a very real and serious threat.

BUT, I think nice weather gives us some opportunities now to be outside and get out relatively safely and interact with others–at a distance and with precautions. I’m afraid this might be a small window of time so I want to responsibly make the most of it. AND I finally got the battery in my car replaced so after three months I can drive again (and I still remember how!) I’ve already had a couple of outings to see friends and hear music and drink and it’s been glorious. I hope to never take these small joys of life for granted again.

This may be the summer I savor more than any other because I’m actually more attentive and appreciative.

This time of transition in transition that feels like an interlude (to someone who knows nothing about classical music), seems like a good time to continue my House Party quarantine questionnaire series. (I also know this is a notable time because one of my favorite quarantine podcasts, Staying In with Emily and Kumail, is wrapping it up).

House Party Questions Part 2

What aren’t you missing? Wearing my work lanyard and wearing rings. And being stuck in traffic, but who does miss that?

What’s an unexpected thing that’s getting you through? Weekday lunch and Saturday night coffee house with our church via Zoom.

What one non-essential item you wish you had much more of? Nasoya dumplings, I’ve only had them once since lockdown.

Something you’ve learned about yourself since being stuck at home: I like spending time at home more than I thought would. I can also handle uncertainty–as in not knowing what’s up with the future of my job, or my social life, or my bands or theater endeavors, or the world–better than I thought I could.

What piece of advice would you have benefited from hearing at your graduation? Be braver–Don’t take yourself so seriously and worry less.

What’s a positive change you’re going to keep from this time? Appreciating spending time at home.

What are you unexpectedly nostalgic for? I’m not sure if this is supposed to be COVID related or not, but the cheap packaged seasoning Dad used on steak.

Tell us the best advice your father ever gave you: He never actually said this, but the only positive thing I can ever remember my mother saying about my dad was that he was a generous tipper, so I interpret that as my dad giving the advice to “Be a good tipper.”

Tell us about a summer tradition of yours: Having anxiety about how much I ADORE the longer days and the increased sunlight but not knowing how to properly appreciate it…loving the light so much and wanting to hold it and keep it and make it last that it hurts. Oh, and being oversensitive (physically, emotionally and spiritually) to mosquito bites.

I will always think of my mom, Colleen Luedtke, primarily as “MY MOM.” Two little words that signify the central place she holds in my life and my heart.

But of course, that’s a very Amy-centric way to view my mother’s life. My mom, who died almost 20 years ago, was so much more than only my mom (or even my sister and brother’s mom). She was–among many things–an elementary-school teacher, a pet lover, a grandma, a storyteller, a reader, an aunt, a soap opera fan, and a friend.

I now have much more appreciation for what a good friend my mom was–supportive, dependable, loving, generous and funny. I’m thinking about what it meant for my mom to be and have a friend as my mom’s best friend, Sue, recently died.

Sue and my mom were close friends for about 18 years until my mom died in 2000. They met and became friends because their then pre-teen daughters–me and my friend Jenny–were friends. As Jenny and I headed down our separate paths of adulthood, our moms stayed friends, and actually grew even closer.

When I think about mom and Sue, I think of them “going shopping”. This was a regular outing that lasted all day and involved venturing to the big city of Eau Claire and picking up provisions at Shopko, Target or Walmart and getting lunch. My mom always drove–damn, Sue was brave and/or really, really chill (yes, implying that my mom was NOT a good driver). I’m not sure about Sue, but I think these shopping trips were a lifeline for my mom, and probably very beneficial to the longterm health and safety of my dad as well.

Actually, that’s not completely accurate. When I think about my mom’s friendship with Sue, I really think about laughter. I’m sure they spent some time bitching and crying and just talking, too, but my strongest memories are of them laughing together. Shopping was merely a laughter delivery mechanism.

I’m grieving Sue’s death because she was a kind woman who brought love and laughter to this world, and because I feel sad for Jenny and her family and have at least some understanding of the pain they are experiencing. I’m also feeling untethered because an important tie to my mother and her life is broken. Someone else who really loved and knew my mom is gone. And I regret that I didn’t take the opportunity to have more of a relationship with Sue, to learn about the Colleen that Sue knew as a friend, or to learn more about Sue herself.

Inspired by this regret, I could have a greater appreciation for the brevity of life or a renewed commitment to being a better friend or making deeper connections with others. That would be lovely, and I do hope I’ll take at least some small steps down the path of progress in human connection.

But, I’m only human. Pretty soon I’ll be right back to taking life and my friends for granted. And Colleen and Sue would be kind and understand.

They would just encourage me to take it easy on myself and shop (even if it’s only online) and laugh a little more.

I think I recently channeled Sally Fields. At least I imagine I felt like Sally did when she won the Oscar in 1985 and stated “…I can’t deny the fact that you like me. Right now, you like me!” (While Googling this I learned that “You like me! You really like me!” is actually a misquote).

This surge of affirmation was inpsired by getting on the Too Beautiful To Live (TBTL) fan Talent Show. Brief exposition: TBTL is a podcast that we’re obsessed with (and the inspiration for several other posts including Too Beautiful To Go To The Fair and Brave Blursday). As part of a recent fan Talent show, listeners were invited to send in one minute videos showcasing a talent. Some of the videos would be selected and shown during a virtual Talent Show emceed live by TBTL hosts Luke and Andrew and aired as a live event on YouTube.

I knew immediately that I wanted to enter a submission, and that drumming was my best bet. Drumming is definitely my highest quality amateur talent, and I’m not above capitalizing on the uniqueness of being a middle-aged lady drummer. Yes, I felt a little silly, but I worked on my song and got it filmed and sent in right away. I didn’t want to forget and I didn’t want to overthink it. Luckily, I had recently “wrote” and performed my original drum solo “Pandrumic” for some virtual coffee houses so all I had to do was get it down to a minute.

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The hardest part was actually filming it and getting my phone at a relatively decent angle. The production quality was not high–the lighting was dark–but I figured it was as good as I was going to achieve. (Given what a narcissist I am I really should invent in a better filming set-up, but that would also take technical skill and knowledge. #LazyNarcissist).

We had no advance notice of what acts would be featured on the TBTL Talent Show, and I didn’t expect to make the cut. As Chad had warned me the night before the show in a well-intentioned effort to manage my expectations and avoid disappointment, Luke and Andrew had told listeners that they had a LOT of entries and they would only get to feature a few. (And of course, there were going to be a lot of videos featuring adorable kids and pets to compete with).

I was looking forward to watching the show even without thinking I would be on it–I knew my fellow TBTL fans would be talented and interesting and that Luke and Andrew would do an awesome job hosting it. But yeah, a small part of me hoped I WOULD be on it.

AND HOLY S#%T I WAS!

A few observations from being on the TBTL Talent Show:

• I loved watching Andrew and Luke groovin’ to my song. Seeing people react to my music (or acting) is magical.
• I’m happy that a fellow fan said in the comments that it was cool that I look “chill”…based on my friend Pat’s reaction to my “low-key” drumming style I’m always a little self-conscious that I seem blaise, so I love seeing this counted as as a positive.
• I’m happy I was one of the first entries…my Type A tendencies apparently got things off to a good start.
• I started out as a kid learning to play with a drum pad like Luke mentions. I didn’t get a drum set of my own until I was 17…which was almost too late to make much use of it, at least for my high school career (I used the drums at school). My mom really wanted me to have a drum set and it was almost more of a dream for her than me.
• My older brother set me on my path as a drummer so I don’t know how badly I wanted it, but was happy to follow the advice of my brother.
• I love that someone noticed and liked my headband!
• The pun “Pandrumic” was a hit!
• No promises on how long this will last, but I am inspired to actually put in some time practicing the drums because apparently I do have some talent (yes, #AlwaysInsecure) and could maybe get better if I make a little effort.
• The TBTL community is AWESOME and fellow fans are so sweet and supportive. (There’s no really good way to work this in but the whole TBTL community–fans and staff–have definitely been tuned into recent national events and the main TBTL focus, this post to the contrary, has NOT been on entertaining me or stroking my ego).

And I felt like people liked me, they really liked me*. And I really like that.

*purposefully using the misquote because it fits my purposes better

Since lockdown/shelter-at-home/quarantine started, one of our favorite radio shows, Live Wire (hosted by one of our favorite podcaster/media personalities, Luke Burbank), has moved to a “house party” format including a weekly question for the audience to weigh in on. Obviously, the world has been waiting for me to pontificate on these questions of deep philosophical import.

After careful thought and consideration, I now offer my insightful opinions and experiences. So as not to overwhelm the world with wisdom, I’ll answer just the first 4 weeks of questions (so yes, this hopefully is the beginning of a series for you to look forward to.) It’s interesting to think back on 100 days of Chamy solitude to compile answers and reflect how life has changed since mid-March.

What fictional character would you like to add to your quarantine situation? Wow I struggled with this one, because most of my favorite fictional characters seem like they could get irritating to actually live with. Chad and I talked about how the best candidate would be entertaining and/or helpful, without adding any unwanted “romantic tension” to the Chamy household. That ruled out almost every character we could think of. And then, last night, while belatedly watching an episode of the “The Mandalorian,” it occurred to me that Baby Yoda (yes I know that’s not actually Baby Yoda) would be a good fit–adorable and easy to take care of (apparently they can be left alone/ignored for long periods of time. A child we could maybe actually successfully parent!). I think Baby Yoda could hold their own with StanLee and the cats.  

Acts of kindness I’ve witnessed: Another hard question because since I’ve barely left the house, I haven’t actually seen many acts at all, kind or otherwise. But I’ve been really amazed and fortified by how our church has created a virtual community, and the support and love we can show each other through something so simple as our weekly virtual coffee house on Saturday nights. I’m also going to count Acme Comedy Club’s Zoom shows as a kindness–another deeply appreciated avenue for laughter and connection. 

Tell us about a small win that felt really good: Blogging always feels like a win, and I feel accomplished that I completed my “50 Days of Blogging” challenge during quarantine. For things that I didn’t do very often in the before times, I count every time I’ve called friends or family a “win”–just because I really hate using the phone. And going back to our church’s virtual coffee house–every performance for that has felt like a win!

What’s been an unexpected addition to your daily routine? Not an addition necessarily but an amplification–I spend even MORE time chopping vegetables, as I am assembling almost every meal we eat. Which leads me to remark on a new weekly routine–takeout or delivery from a local restaurant on Sunday nights. 

So there you go–my answers to what is basically basically, a public radio version of a Facebook quiz). Would love to hear your answers, too, and please stay tuned for volume 2!

I was just starting to think I needed to get serious about planning for any 25th Anniversary festivities we might want to have, when COVID-19 hit (or made its way into public awareness). So luckily for me, I didn’t have to cancel anything.

Instead, we officially and publicly observed our anniversary via Zoom (of course) with a service on love that we led for our church this past Sunday.

We actually prepared this service for our anniversary last year and did it IRL at the UU church in Nora. It went so well that we decided months ago to do it again at our home church for our 25th anniversary, which MSUS graciously agreed to. We were intending to do this as a traditional in-person service, but since our church transitioned to virtual services early on during the pandemic, we just had to adjust to the new mode of transmission.

So we didn’t have to do a lot of preparation for the service, as luckily the script held up really well when we re-read it. This wasn’t a vow renewal, but a collection of music and readings and some of our own writings (including the sermon Chad gave for our friends’ Megan and Allan’s wedding) that we curated. We mainly just had to work on devising the best camera and mic set-up and practice getting through the readings without crying–we didn’t even get too grumbly with each other.

All we changed was one of the songs we performed, as Chad had the brilliant idea that we could pull off a stripped-down version of The Pretenders’ “Message of Love.” It turned out surprisingly well, if I do say so myself.

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It wasn’t the experience we planned on and we missed being with friends and loved ones in person. But as we’ve learned with other virtual events, there were aspects to appreciate. It was lovely that Chad’s family and our Maid of Honor Marcia were able to “be there” since they didn’t have to travel to attend. And I now have a video of part of the service that I can foist upon–I mean share with– others. (No widespread posting because of copyrighted material).

More surprisingly, while it felt disconnected not being able to see our “audience” while we were reading from a screen, it also felt intimate and appropriate to invite people into our home of 20 plus years for our anniversary. What better setting to talk about love than our dining room, with yes, some of our most beloved bottles of booze in the background?

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Chad and I both had statements in our vows about cherishing the ordinary. For us (and we know we’re immensely privileged to be in this situation) COVID has forced/allowed us to slow down and spend more “ordinary” time together. And while I certainly miss so much about “normal” life, I do value getting to spend more time with Chad and have gained a new appreciation of all the little joys of daily life together. (This of course does not negate all our feelings of frustration at all the irritations of daily life together).

And while we don’t usually make music together and dance around our dining room like we did when we performed “Message of Love” during our service, we could. Maybe now we sometimes will, even without an audience besides StanLee? Hmm, an intriguing possibility to explore for the next (hopefully!) 25 years of Chamy.

With the start of the Memorial Day Weekend, I’m officially declaring it the kickoff of The Chamy 25th Anniversary Celebration/Commemoration Season. (I’m not sure exactly how long this will last but be prepared for anywhere between 10 days and a year. It probably won’t finally end until we get to take our postponed Anniversary Vacation which is rescheduled for May 2021).

So a heartfelt and hearty “Thank You!” to you–we wouldn’t be celebrating this milestone, or at least not as quite the same couple, without you. Unless you happened to randomly stumble across this and have truly never met or interacted with us before, you’ve played some part in helping us become the people we are today–as individuals, and as a couple.

Don’t worry, we’re not going to blame you for anything bad (at least not too bad!)

In honor of our anniversary, we’re leading a Zoom service on love at our church, Michael Servetus Unitarian Society, on Sunday. To describe the service I shared this as part of my annual pledge testimonial: “More than half of our married life has been spent at MSUS and we wouldn’t be who we are without MSUS. We’re so thankful to still have this space to honor our anniversary, even when all our other plans have gone awry.”

“The Web” is one of our treasured Unitarian Universalist ideas. Thank you to everyone who has supported, inspired, comforted, amused, and put-up with us during the last quarter century, and helped hold us together in the Web. In addition to every thing and every one I am aware of and can remember there are all the little ways the web of existence and the web of community has held us in ways we weren’t even aware of.

I can’t possibly acknowledge and thank everyone, but in addition to our MSUS community, I want to give a shout-out to The Scooby Gang, The Flock, Rubric Legal, Pigeons, Applause Community Theatre, Duck Soup, The Girl Posse, Twin Town Guitars, our NE Minneapolis neighbors, Hennepin County Library, the running community, and our families and parents.

Perhaps you have helped us be Chamy by:

• Drinking, laughing and crying with us (together or individually)
• Making music with us
• Creating plays with us
• Coming out to watch us make music or theater
• Making it possible for us to have an income and meaningful work
• Helping us have a safe and comfortable home and neighborhood
• Listening to us grumble and complain about each other
• Listening to us grumble and complain about life in general so that we sometimes vented to someone besides our spouse
• Listening to numerous inane stories about our domestic life (okay, mostly “my” stories)
• Helping us be our individual selves
• Putting up with our couple schtick (a special nod to those who have been in plays with us)
• You’ve looked at photos (old or newish) that I’ve posted of us on Facebook

As Chad oh so wisely wrote in the sermon he gave when he officiated at our friends’ Megan and Allan’s wedding:

Marriages are both intensely private and joyously public. They are between two people who love each other, but they are also pronouncements to the world that “Hey everybody, we really mean it. Honor our love, support it, and sometimes, if we need it, remind us about it.”

–Chad

Huh, I don’t think I can add to that, so luckily, I don’t have a problem with letting Chad have the last word.