Amy Lu's View

Our house is plenty big for two people (and 3-5 small pets) but it’s nothing extravagant. I don’t know the exact square footage, but it’s no McMansion. Still, I’ve discovered new spaces in our house since Minnesota’s Stay at Home Order (SAHO) has been in place.

Okay, I didn’t literally find new spaces in our house (although a common dream that I have is finding new/forgotten places in my childhood home…can you say symbolism?) but I’m experiencing parts of our house that I rarely make use of.

Before COVID-19, we were infrequently home, and I spent most of that time in the bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, and (when lucky) in the basement on the couch watching tv. Now that is about half of our house, which means that I’ve been ignoring the other half. Since the SAHO, I’ve spent more time in our upstairs, in the living room and in the dining room.

In addition to just not being home very much, I’ve neglected parts of our house because they’ve been too full of junk to inhabit. One positive thing about the timing of COVID is it aligned with our recent attempts to declutter our house. We still have a lot of work to do, but we were already on the path so it didn’t take Chad too much time to make the upstairs a usable office space. We got the kitchen table cleared off relatively quickly and have mostly kept it clutter free. Our second bedroom is still a disaster–not sure how long COVID will have to drag on for us to tackle that.

The fact that we rarely use all of the house we have makes me feel better about not having a bigger house–although if we had more space, we might have less clutter and then our house would be more usable. But knowing us, I think we would just let our clutter–mostly clothes, books and instruments–grow to whatever space we had. We could be in a McMansion and still have a small amount of usable square footage.

The return of nice (or even nice adjacent) weather does give us the chance to use our sunroom, which greatly expands how much house we have to use. Unforunately, I can’t work out there too much because it’s so bright (but it’s great for blogging, eating, drinking, and taking selfies–as you may have noticed–with natural lighting).

It’s interesting to see how people react to different areas of our home when I’m virtually interacting with them. People have remarked how our upstairs looks like a cabin–unfortunately, my work laptop doesn’t get a strong internet connection from there. Some have also enjoyed the backdrop of our kitchen (all the glassware) and the dining room (all the booze). It’s strangely intimate to have people who otherwise might never seen inside our house get to take a look at it while we peer into theirs (assuming the lighting cooperates).

Being in a different part of house also literally gives me a new perspective. I definitely noticed this the other night (and yes I was having alcohol and poetry so feeling deep) when I was sitting in the chair in our living room by the fireplace and seeing our living room from a whole new angle. I never sit there, mostly because it has always been a pet’s chair and I haven’t wanted to deal with all the pet hair. (I’m less squeamish about pet hair in the End Times). Oh right, and I rarely sit unless I’m playing drums or watching TV.

I did hear on a podcast (can’t remember which one) that it is helpful to consciously experience a “new” place in your home–even if it is only sitting in a different chair. I can definitely see the benefit of this. Not only does this simple change of perspective help you feel less claustrophobic during a SAHO, breaking out of a routine, even a small one, can be freeing. I also realized this when I sat on our front step–first time in 20 plus years?–for the Minnesota Public Radion “Big Sing.” And spiritual, emotional and benefits aside, we paid for this entire house, so I might as well get my money’s worth!

It really does make me feel a little weird and antsy to realize what a rut I’ve been in and how much I have taken our home for granted. Seriously, we’ve lived here over 20 years and I’ve sat by fireplace less than 10 times. What other, more meaningful oppportunities in my my life am I missing out on?

I also heard on the podcast “‘Staying In with Emily & Kumail” the advice to keep one’s work space separate from the rest of your living space when working at home–even if it’s only having a separate chair. I definitely disregard that advice. My workspace is usually at our breakfast bar, which I find a problem not because it blurs the lines between work and personal life but because it’s basically in the kitchen and so close to snacks.

In honor of National Haiku Day on April 18:

What is lockdown life?
Virtual socializing
Work, eat, drink, walk, blog

And ..

I’m StanLee Booker
Squirrels! Birds! People walking dogs!
Barking on my stump.

Chad and I did the Minnesota Public Radio’s (MPR) “Bring the Sing” tonight.

At 5:53 tonight, we sat on our front step while we played Carole King’s version of “You’ve Got a Friend” via the MPR News station. We sang, sort of.

We were the only people out in on our block (although we did see one of our neighbors across the street and his new adorable puppy, Lola).

It was hokey. It was half-assed. We felt silly.

Italy it was not.

It was still pretty awesome.

I have no idea how many folks participated in this, but we felt others we couldn’t see or maybe only imagined.

We both made an effort to be around to do this together–no, our days aren’t super full right now after 5:00 but Chad had to get StanLee from daycare and I had to plan my walking and drinking. (Having StanLee at daycare made our participation by sitting on the front step much easier).

This was actually the first time we’ve sat on our front step in 20 plus years of living in our house (#notthatcomfy+dogs).

We felt connected to each other and something bigger than ourselves.

Selfies from tonight (yes, tell Chad to smile if you must…):

I also learned that I don’t really know the lyrics to “You’ve Got a Friend.”

In the days leading up to this, Chad reminded me that I confuse “Up On the Roof” with “You’ve Got a Friend.” When he said “You’ll probably sing up on the roof” I didn’t realize what he meant and thought he was being literal.

So remember, winter, spring, summer or fall (or quarantine) all you’ve got to do is call (or, preferably, text or e-mail and then we can schedule a time to Zoom) and you’ve got a friend. Not necessarily a good or sober friend, but a friend.

The other “night” (actually 4:00ish in the morning) I was awoken by the worst Charley Horse that I’ve ever had. (It was the classic in the calf of the leg kind). I’ve never given birth or had kidney stones so my pain scale is limited, but I think this was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. The pain was so bad I was light-headed and nauseous and broke out in a cold sweat to an extent I never have before.

There’s no need to be worried or give me any medical advice–I’m sure it was caused by all the comon reasons (dehydration, lack of stretching, over-exercising) topped off by an unwise amount alcohol consumption. Oh yeah, and according to my Googling, aging CAN be a contributing factor.

While doing my Googling, it struck me that “Charley Horse” is spelled CharLEY instead of CharLIE–the way my brother’s name is spelled, rather than Charlie Brown. This seems to be a more uncommon spelling of Charley, at least these days, so this made me mildly curious. Why was Charley spelled this way? And what was up with the Horse?

So I did some more Googling, but quickly lost interest. Too much reading. It was like when I tried to follow the Triscuit story. I got as far as learning the muscle cramps are named after a historical baseball player who frequently suffered from them. I don’t know what was up with the horse.

I also don’t know why my mom (I assume my dad didn’t have much of a role in the decision) decided to spell my brother’s name “LEY” instead of “LIE.” I didn’t know that many Charleys in my life so never thought much about it. Again, I attempted to find out via Googling, but only got as far as learning that today “Charley” is more common as a feminine nickname for “Charlotte.” Huh, I don’t think I’ll point that out to my brother (he prefers to go by “Chuck” anyway).

Writing this post has really highlighted a) what a limited attention span I can sometimes have and b) what tangents my thoughts can take. Here are just some of the mental rabbit holes I’ve went down while writing this inspired by thinking about the word “horse”:

• I really like the show “BoJack Horseman” which we’ve just started watching. This may be our biggest televsion viewing success story of the pandemic.
• Lewis Black has that great joke about overhearing part of a conversation and getting the totally random line “If it wasn’t for that horse I never would have went to college” stuck in his head.
• The 70’s “Horse With No Name–>Who performed that song, America or Bread? I can never keep those two bands straight–>other bands I can’t keep straight: Dr. Dog and Dinosaur Jr. (both have animals in the titles and Dr. and Jr. are close).

I may never solve the mystery of the name “Charley Horse” but I do hope I never have one so bad again. #BetterChoices?

I finished the latch hook project I’ve been working on for over a year! No, not a year straight–I’ve taken many breaks. I’m not very dedicated to my crafting endeavor. But thanks to lockdown, I’ve had more time to sit inside and listen–to meetings, to the radio, etc. while needing something to do with my hands.

I’m not sure there’s much that can or should be said about latch hook– it’s goofy and does not result in a terribly attractive final product. Its main appeal is that it’s super easy to do, and the tactile experience of playing with the yarn is pleasant.

My latch hook career began in the late 70’s/early 80’s, of course. It’s a craft I learned and/or pursued because of 4-H. I actually did other arts and crafts as a kid to varying degrees of success: macrame and sewing were too hard and frustrating, but I did like decoupage (it’s clear this was the 70’s, right?) Surprisingly, I was damn good at leather craft.

Latch hook has been the craft I return to because it is the simplest and requires very little thought. It’s probably as close as I come to a meditative practice (until I start worrying about running out of a particular color of yarn because I followed the pattern wrong, but then I find leftovers of the right color in another kit. Oh, the drama!) I can’t imagine trying to pickup something complicated like leather work again–that definitely feels like it belongs to a past life Amy.

My latch hooking has also been jumpstarted by the availability of kits that are already finished–no sewing is required to turn them into rugs or wall hangings or, in the case of my most recent endeavor, a pillow. I used to hate that sewing step (my downfall when it came to 4-H latch hook and leather work glory) and as an adult would just try to use duct tape to finish up my projects.

I was stunned a few years ago when someone actually bought one of my Winnie-the-Pooh latch hooks at our church silent auction. I’ve given others away as gifts to kids (and the young at heart). Not sure where the pillow will end up… just need to make sure StanLee doesn’t eat it.

April 14 is Be Kind To Laywers Day.

Obviously, there is a favorite lawyer in my life, and I try to be kind to him every day–admittedly to varying degrees of success. (Although things have been going quite well for Chamy during lockdown, I’m sure in part because Chad has a “home office” space on an entirely different floor from where I spend most of the days. And we have a fully stocked bar.)

Speaking of our bar, and kindness, Chad just made me a Negroni while downstairs on an online geeking break.

“Lawyers are very important people to me.”

Janet Reno

Because I’m married to a lawyer, I’ve had the good fortune to meet, be friends with, and get drunk with, many lawyers. Simply put, they are almost always awesome. Sure, they’ll do some tedious deep conversational dives about things I don’t know or care about, but that’s just because I don’t know or care about what they’re talking about. I could easily list 10 popular conversational topics that I also don’t or care about, but don’t want to be a hater. I can also get bored when my librarian peeps get fixated on yapping about librarian life.

Chad is not sensitive about being a lawyer–he loves a good–or even a mediocore–laywer joke as much as the next person. Actually, he loves them more. He only gets really annoyed at other lawyers who are incompetent, needlessly adversarial or jackassish, or write poorly and use unnecessary “lawyer language.”

(I will try to refrain from too much bitching about what bothers me about popular misconceptions about the library world, but here are my top ones:

• Librarians just know shit (we know how to find shit out)
• The interwebs killed Dewey Decimal (not related–Dewey Decimal is an address for a book, doesn’t matter how you look that address up–card catalog, Google, seance)
• Libraries are quiet

And this isn’t a misconception, but I HATE it when things are alphabetized by articles–I’m looking at you, The Current!)

Some commons misconceptions I, as a non-lawyer, have observed about lawyers and the law:

• Lawyers are not all fabulously rich
• Lawyers are not all extremely arrogant (at least not because they are lawyers)
• All states have “no-fault” divorce, so you don’t have to prove any wrongdoing…the court doesn’t really care why you want a divorce or how much of an asshole you think your soon-to-be-ex is.
• “Fair” and “right” isn’t always the same thing as “legal.” The legal system is often about upholding larger societal principles and rules, even if you individually got screwed.

And “Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law” is the best legal show ever, followed by “Boston Legal”–DENNY CRANE!

I’m all caught up with the podcast “Dead Eyes.” This makes me feel very accomplished.

I feel like I’ve achieved something primarily for two reasons:

• I haven’t listened to podcasts that much before now
• Chad and I are never caught up on our tv viewing

My career as a podcast listener is a direct result of COVID-19 social realities. Yes, I dabbled in a few podcasts thanks to Chad–namely “Too Beautiful Too Live-TBTL” (the inspiration for many blog posts) and “Nobody Listens To Paula Poundstone”–but my recent long walks encouraged me to branch out to other podcasts. Luckily for me, Chad got me set up with the app Stitcher right before social isolation started.

I’m not sure what drew me to “Dead Eyes.” Maybe it’s because each individual epdisode is relativley short (less than an hour) and its a new podcast so there aren’t that many episodes (the 8th just came out). Listening to it all isn’t that big of a commitment (I’m daunted by starting a long running tv series). Maybe I subconsioucly remembered reading a good review of it int he week.

It’s a testament to the quality of the podcast that even though I have very little knowledge or interest in its premise, I love it. Here’s the descirption: “Actor/comedian Connor Ratliff (The Chris Gethard Show, UCB, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) embarks upon a quest to solve a very stupid mystery that has haunted him for two decades: why Tom Hanks fired him from a small role in the 2001 HBO mini-series, Band Of Brothers.”

The only thing/person in that description that I have any familiarity with is Tom Hanks.

When Connor Ratliff was fired, he was told (not by Tom Hanks directly) that it was because he had “dead eyes.” He has no idea what that means and that is the “mystery” he’s trying to solve.

Reasons I loved the podcast:

• The host seems like a genuinely likable guy.
• The show is well-crafted.
• The conversations are really interesting, even when I don’t know who the guests are.
• Even as an only amateur actress, I totally relate to the experience of being super insecure about being an actor. I also find it comforting that professional actors are also wracked my self-doubt.

Things I’ve learned from “Dead Eyes”

• As an amateur actress, I understand the wisdom of NOT having my happiness so tied to my “success” as an actor. I need to also find fullfillment in things that I have more control over, like running, playing music, or just trying to be a decent person.
• It’s helpful to keep in mind that other people rarely ascribe as much importance to me or how they interact with me as I do. If I’m feeling mortified because I’ve acted like an ass or embarassed myself, it’s wasted effort. People are the heroes of their own stories. I am scenery. Embarassment is self-indulgent.
• On the flip side, while it’s not helpful to over-estimate our importance, we should keep in mind that an offhand comment (“You have dead eyes”) might have a big impact on someone. In eighth grade a friend told me that I “looked like a rabbit” in my class picture–yeah, that echoed around in my head for years. So why not say something nice?
• And why not try to remember the positive things people tell us, instead of obsessing over real or imagined slights and criticisms? It’s easy to get stuck in narratives and let them define our lives. Why not try to consciously frame our lives in positive stories?
• There are a lot of songs about eyes–as a child of the 80’s, “Eyes Without a Face” and “Bette Davis Eyes” are the ones that get stuck most in my head.

(Author’s corrections/additions: Since I published this yesterday, I found a Pass Easter Egg Dyeing Kit in our basement, proof that I’ve had intentions of celebrating Easter in the last 20 years. Also, my sister said she and my mom DID used to hide Easter eggs for us. As my sister recalls, our dad would usually find a rogue egg months later and eat it. This does ring a bell, maybe I repressed it because it grossed me out).

Easter hasn’t been on my radar for years. I’m just not that personally into traditional Easter religion or food. One of the few/only Easters I have a significant memory of as an adult is the year Chad and I went to brunch at Stanley’s, and my heel got caught in my barstool (I know, sounds like a cliche) and I almost did a header into the lap of an old man. Time stood still as our eyes locked as I fell toward him, managing to right myself at the last moment.

I don’t remember my family being all that into Easter, either, at least not into Easter egg hunts (I hope my sister corrects me if I’m wrong). I think an Easter egg hunt was too much like a game or a sport for us to have time for it.

We did like to dye eggs, though, and I do remember even doing that as a young adult. I’m definitely in the “use crayons to decorate eggs before you dye them” camp.

I got curious about if there was any archaelogical evidence of Easters of my youth, so did some excavating in my family memorabilia upstairs. (Plus, I was desperate for blog material). I have these treasures to offer (see photos below). You’re welcome (now I have to figure out how to cram all the photo albums back in their storage space).

The lovely ladies dyeing eggs with me are my sister Jenn and sister-in-law Chris.

I may be guilty of not giving Easter it’s proper holiday due, but this year, it seems especially important to stop and recognize a holiday that celebrates hope and renewal. And spring. Yeah, we definitely need spring. So Happy Easter/Passover/Ostara/Vernal Equinox/Spring!

And with StanLee’s ears, he could definitely fill-in for the Easter Bunny (he’d also really like to “hug” a bunny).

I often say I don’t read (which is funny, because I’m a librarian, right?)

It’s true, I rarely read fiction books with my eyes, either in paper or eBook formats. I listen to audiobooks instead, mostly when I work out. (I got through a lot of audiobooks during marathon training).

Sometimes I will actually read a nonfiction book, or at least skim it.

And I love to read magazines. So much so that I hoard them until I make sure I’ve thoroughly read them. (Haven’t made much of a dent in my goal to read up on old issues while hiding out at home).

One of my favorite magainzes is The Week (theweek.com). I love the bite-sized snippets of information pulled from a variety of credible media sources. It’s a good mix of national and international news, with some arts and entertainment thrown in. Plus, the “Good Week for/Bad Week for” items often end up as questions on “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.” (Did you know that sales of pants have recently dropped?) Settling down with The Week and my lunch is one of life’s little joys for me.

A “story” from the April 10 issue titled “How to boost your immune system” particulary caught my attention so I thought I’d share it. Think of it as a bit of a public service announcement (without the guitar). The Week’s staff distilled it from The Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/08/how-to-boost-your-immune-system-to-avoid-colds-and-coronavirus). Basically this is my recap of a recap.

How to boost your immune system (and how I measure up):

• Feed your microbiome: Eat a diet rich in fiber and fermented foods. Check!
• Stay active: Check! Even without being able to run, I’m still exercising.
• Lay off the liquor:…um…The advice is “Don’t booze through the coronavirus crisis.” Does it matter if I’m not drinking just because of coronavirus?
• Skip supplements: Eating your five-a-day fruits and vegetables is the best way to maintain vitamin and nutrient levels. (Only 5?!) Check! (Although I do also use Nuun Immunity Support).

Stay as healthy and well as you can everyone!