Amy Lu's View

Let me start with acknowledging that I am extremely lucky, and that I’m grateful for so many things.

Now…commence the whining!

I’ve made it through my first work week of “quarantine.”

Whew.

I’ve tried not to blog too much about COVID-19 or my experiences as our world grapples with it. Just like when it comes to political affairs, I know I don’t have much that is helpful or insightful to add, and I don’t want to be insensitive or hurtful or offensive, at least not unintentionally.

But I can’t completely ignore it either, especially as I’m trying to blog every day for 50 days. I’m definitely going to run out of topics if I don’t let COVID-19 into my blog.

Here are some highly personal and inconsequential reflections as I chillax (whatever that means between bouts of pandemic panic) after my first week of working completely at home and not venturing out. (I’ve only been to the gym once–rushed there on Monday night before they shut down–and Target once).

I’m so lucky that I have a job and that I can work completely and productively from home. I’m lucky that I was already working from home fairly often, so am basically used to it and have all the IT I need. I’m lucky that my colleagues and people I supervise are also used to working from home.

Still, working at home entirely with no forrays into a physical workspace is really strange. I’ve lost all sense of time. I eat WAY too many chips. StanLee B frequently loses his mind because more people are out walking and walking their dogs. Thank heavens he was still able to do his day at puppy daycare so the cats I had one day of calm.

This week at work has been pretty intense and I’m rather frazzled. I love my job and am so impressed by my colleagues and love that I am doing important work, but this is a lot to process. Our situation at work has been changing constantly this week. I need to be as patient and open and calm as I can.

In fact work has been so busy, that I haven’t really kept up with the news this week. Needless to say, I was unpleasantly surprised today to hear and read just how scary the COVID-19 news is. Yes, I knew it was serious, but DAMN.

I’m not a fan of social isolation, but, at least for now, I’m suffering as much–if not more–from cabin fever. Quarantine-light would be easier if the weather was more cooperative, and/or I could successfully run. Yes, I’m still dealing with ongoing nerve and/or muscle issues in my thigh, so I’ve had to content myself with a short limpy run/walk every day in mostly crappy weather. (Yes, I do realize I used 3 “/’s” in one short paragraph. Love/hate?)

I really, really, really miss being able to go to the gym and use an elliptical. My daily cardio workouts now consist of the aforementioned limpy run/walk supplemented by slow rides on our stationary bike and a lot of walking in place while swinging my arms wildly in our little kitchen.

I didn’t know how to illustrate this post, so I just included a totally staged WFH selfie, carefully showing off my HCL mug (another mug selfie!) And you can see some of my grey roots. Not that I can’t dye my own hair–I always do, so this is not a result of salons closing. But dyeing my hair is a huge pain in the ass so why would I when Chad, StanLee and the cats don’t care about the state of my hair and they’re the only fellow beings I see? And I don’t think my roots are showing up in virtual meetings…yet. And if they do, maybe it makes me look like I really AM working hard.

*I’ve never read, or intend to read “Love in the Time of Cholera,” and I totally judge you for drinking a Corona.

I am very happy and thankful to report that I had a successful Target run today, all things considered.

Admittedly, I was not hoping to buy toilet paper. I didn’t even look to see if they had toilet paper out of curiousity, as I was in a bit of a time crunch and making a run on my late lunch break.

We are pretty secure in our toilet paper supply. We were starting to get a little nervous earlier in the week until Chad found some at Target on Tuesday. Then today we got our Grove natural household subscription order with 8 more rolls (bamboo, even!).

We’ve been really fortunate and successful so far in finding the Chamy provisions we want during the time of COVID-19. (Is it too morbid and melodramatic to say I’m a little worried that I’m going to look back on this post in the not-too-distant future while munching on stale cat food?) I’m sure much of our success is due to timing and luck, but I also think we aren’t necessarily looking for the groceries that others are stocking up on. There hasn’t seemed to be a run on fresh vegetables (I’m being smug, aren’t I? #OwnIt).

I also want to give a shout-out to our Fridley Target. They seem to be making a good faith effort to keep things clean and sanitized and managing their stock.

We’ve encounterd empty egg and yogurt shelves but found them on subsequent trips.

We have had some trouble finding unseasoned, unsauced frozen vegetables (seems like those would be good things to have on hand if our fresh vegetable luck runs out) but I was pretty successful today. I did almost have a heart attack at first because they rearranged the store (not sure in response to COVID-19 shopping trends or not) and I thought Target was selling frozen sugar snap peas for $8.99 package. Fortunately, I realized they had moved the stock but not the price tags, and that was the price for frozen chicken.

I’m especially lucky that I’ve been able to find most of the groceries I want because I am extremely picky about the type and brands of food I want to eat. Even under normal conditions, I often can’t find what I want at Lund’s or Trader Joe’s because they don’t carry the chemical-laden lower calorie products I crave.

Target was out of some of my favorites today, but I think that was mostly just normal shopping karma. I find it unlikely that people are hoarding tofu (yet?!)

Okay it’s only had one contest, but my booby is victorious.

While I believe there was some famous sports event that was cancelled because of COVID-19, (apparently March Madness doesn’t refer to any of my birthday celebrations), March Mammal Madness has proceeded. (March Mammal Madness is something we take part in because Chad’s friend and law partner, Emmet, organizes it at their work.) And my pick, the Red-Footed Booby, won its first match of the first bracket.

Now you may know or have noticed that the Red-Footed Booby is a bird. So not actually a Mammal.

So I don’t really know how a bird won a Mammal fight. Oh I could know, I just didn’t pay attention. Per usual, I can’t be bothered with rules.

And because I couldn’t be bothered to learn about the March Mammal Madness or spend time considering my picks, the Booby is only nominally my choice. Chad chose all my picks and went with the Booby for me because, well, booby. He not only choose the Booby for my first bracket choice, but chose it to go all the way. With my sophisticated sense of wit, of course that would be my choice.

#MadeOurselvesForEachOther

Happy National Awkward Moments Day!

Yes, I Googled in desperation to find an innocuous holiday I could blog about.

Boy (Girl) did I luck out!

Yes, I could belatedly post about Pi Day, but I don’t really have opinions, experience or knowledge about baking or math.

I DO have experience with awkwardness though…both giving and receiving. In fact, it’s so common, this may actually be hard to blog about because it’s hard to think of awkward moments that stand out.

There are the classic gold standard moments, such as when I flipped over in my desk the first day of a freshman college geography class.

And the recent, everyday moments when I think I am wearing a classy, professional and appropriately sexy ensemble and then notice an iron print mark on my pencil skirt.

I think I’ve blogged before about aspiring to have no shame, because shame can often just feed our egos. In other words, we often freak out about our social faux pas because we’re too fixated on ourselves and imagine we’re the main character of everyone else’s story. No one else really cares that much about us so it doesn’t matter if we’re an ass (unless we actually hurt someone with our thoughtless comments or actions).

• 

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But celebrating awkwardness feels less self-involved. It’s more about celebrating our mutual humanness and weirdness and feeling uncomfortable in the moment.

And to keep it slightly topical, working at home and having virtual meetings provides a lot of awkward moments…from talking away when your microphone is muted, to being the only person not using video because you’re still in pajamas and not wearing makeup, to having your cute little dog losing his puppy mind and barking like a banshee in the background.

Of course blogging provides opportunities for awkwardness, like not having a good post conculsion…

It’s not only St. Patrick’s Day and Day #7 (?total guess there) of “Shut It Down It America,” (#TBTL) but it’s my mom’s birthday.

If my mom was still alive she would be 84. She died almost 20 years ago. I miss her at moments big and small (she never got to experience any of my mid-life crisis acting or band performances).

I do NOT miss her experiencing COVID-19.

Or maybe I do in a weirdly perverse, darkly comic way.

I know imagining my mom living during the COVID-19 pandemic is an absurd thought exercise. Am I thinking of my 64-year-old mother from 2000 alive now or my imaginary 84-year-old who never was (at leaast not in this timeline?) Or some amalgamation of the two realities?

I don’t know, but I do know if my mother was in “quarantine” with my father out in the tundra of Wisconsin there would be HELL TO PAY.

I also can’t imagine my mother dealing with social isolation very well. “I’ve lived my whole life in social isolation!” she would cry.

This is NOT to say that she would support Trump in any way. She would NOT blame immigrants for COVID-19 or think she should drink bleach. The pandemic CLEARLY (whether he was still alive or not) be my dad’s fault (All those chemicals he used on his garden? All the drinking he did? All those “questionable” satellite TV shows he watched? All that fatty bacon he bought?). She would probably also be pinning her hopes on Chad to save us.

She would care tremendously about her students when the schools closed. (Yes, my 84-year-old mother would have kept teaching unless Wisconsin has instituted mandatory retirement in the last 20 years). She would care about the people who own or work at restaurants and other small businesses. She worry care about the people who don’t have housing that no longer have a public library or any place else to go (but would want them to stay the hell away from me).

She would be convinced I’ve been in peronal contact with everyone in Minnesota who has been diagnosed with COVID-19.

She would regale us all of tales of her youth and growing up without toilet paper and being thrilled to get the Sears catalog and cartons of peaches (peach paper is super soft).

She would be anxious, and she would be exasperating, and she would be hilarious (unintentionally), and she would be brave and loving and strong.

Well, I just made myself cry (in the rural German Lutheran sense that I have some slight evidence of moisture in my eyes) so I’m going to stop now. Let’s all find our inner Colleen people.

Yes, that is a seriously tacky title, but I couldn’t help it. (Have I mentioned that our band Pigeons From Hell does a mean cover of “Closing Time”?)

Just tonight we learned that our public library system has closed all 41 of its locations to try and stop the spread of COVID-19.

This is going to be a short post because I don’t have much I can or should say about this, besides THIS IS A BIG DEAL.

It’s a big deal for our communities and our employees and our library system. Okay, maybe I’m teensy biased, but we’re the PUBLIC LIBRARY–this just got real.

It’s a big deal for me personally, both as just something to process and wrap my head around and professionally because I need to step up and make sure I do all I can to make the closure as successful as possible.

I asked Chad to make specifically Closing the Library cocktails. (One is a Negroni and the other is a Negroni with bourbon instead of gin, more or less). Not to celebrate or mourn but just to stop and pause and acknowledge.

What is the Dewey Decimal or Library Congress number for bartending?

“For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name,
There is love, oh there’s love”

— “The Wedding Song” by Paul Stookey (Peter, Paul and Mary)

That’s a line from one of my favorite feel good 70’s songs. I love it so much that we had the song as an instrumental during our wedding (and I sang the lyrics in my head).

Today, my church gathered virtually (via Zoom) instead of in-person in response to COVID-19 concerns. There were more than 30 of us, truly young and old, and there was love — and silliness, and community, and technical difficulties.

We didn’t gather in Jesus’ name (although he would have been welcome), or in anyone’s name in particular, but in all of our names. I know it’s hard for many people to understand why Chad and I are so into church when we don’t believe in a separate spiritual entity, and I struggle to explain it. But our little experiment with virutual church is one powerful example of why participating in our church is so meaningful for us.

“Community” is woefully inadequate. Yes, it is that, but so much more. Or maybe it’s Extreme Community.

Nothing can replace the connection of an in-person worship gathering, but there are some advantages to virtual church. Most notably, being in my pajamas with my own strong coffee.

Okay, I’m not sure if being in my pajamas was actually a plus or a minus — we had our video turned off, and I think next week we will make an effort to make ourselves and our house camera-presentable, so we can participate more fully.

(We were actually scrambling today to log-in on time because I had another vertigo episode last night so slept in and also had some work issues to attend to this morning while we were trying to get ready for church. And yes, I know no one actually would care if I was in my pajamas w/o any makeup but I have my “Amy standards” to uphold. We are not at the stage of the Apocalypse where I stop “putting on my face.” If we start this crisis at 100 we won’t have anything to escalate to).

AND if we have our camera turned on, people will be able to see StanLee! That’s definitely a win-win. StanLee loved having us home more, and he was definitely intrigued by the sounds of choral music coming from the computer (not something he typically hears in the Chamy household). We’ll make sure to keep our sound muted, though, unless StanLee is specifically asked to share a Joy or Concern.

StanLee B’s Joys and Concerns seem to be the the same thing, and mostly concern birds, squirrels, cats and other dogs. And mom not petting his face.

As a participant in mostly small and leanly-resourced community theater companies, (as in, we have no money much less understudies) I always have the fear of what will happen if I or a co-star gets sick or experiences some mishap that prevents us from performing.

But I regard myself and my fellow performers as a hearty lot. Hell, Chad fell onstage during a musical number in our recent “Uh-Oh Here Comes Christmas” and finished out the song without missing a word. I did a performance of “Talley’s Folly” with Chad (a two-person show so rather intense) the day my dad died–but that wasn’t a show of strength or sacrifice as much as a testament to the meaning I find in theater.

Probably the show I did under the toughest conditions was a melodrama fundraiser when I was quite hungover. The show was physically demanding, there was audience interaction, and we had to do strike afterwards, so it was a late night. Lesson learned–watch out for cheap drinks in small towns. (And that was almost 10 years ago and I haven’t been severely hungover on stage since so I think I really DID learn my lesson!)

Although I think I’m pretty tough, I have been wondering the last week if I was going to be brought down by vertigo. Last Friday I had an episode so bad I really couldn’t walk, with the added bonus of vomiting. (Don’t worry–I think I have it under control now). But obviously, my fears of vertigo and falls and empty houses have been swept aside by COVID-19.

As disappointed as I am that Applause Community Theatre needed to postpone our Collection of One Acts — which was scheduled to open next weekend until mid June — I know we are very lucky to have the option of a relatively painless reschedule. Many other theater companies, large and small, are in much more difficult situations. And yes, I know there is no guarantee that we’ll be able to go ahead with the performances in June but I think we can be reasonably optimistic.

We’re also lucky we were able to change our plans before going through an intense tech week (which would have kicked off Saturday with a 4-hour rehearsal that started at 8 a.m.). Not saying we won’t still have an exhausting tech week to look foward to, but definitely preferable to do that only once per production.

Personally, I am also lucky that I didn’t spend that much time memorizing lines for the one-acts…I have a really small (though awesome!) role in one and I get to read from Post-It Notes in the two-person show Chad and I are in. So my lines should come back to me quickly.

We also had to postpone our late-April Duck Soup show, “Nick Ace.” We even decided to postpone that one before we made the decision for Applause, as Duck Soup performs in Senior Living Centers. That timing was also “good” because we hadn’t started rehearsals yet, although I had spent considerable effort working my casting mojo to assemble an awesome troupe for “Nick Ace”–hopefully all will be able to come back in the fall.

Eventually, the show WILL go on after all.

*that aren’t food or drink related…and that I still enjoy during COVID-19.

Yes, this is a bit of a “throw-away” post, or and “I need to catch up and just get a post out” post. But taking a moment to focus on the positive can’t hurt, right?

• Matching pajamas and loungewear
• Soft clothes, especially never-washed sweatshirts, and soft t-shirts
• Warm sheets and a weighted blanket 
• Receiving packages and letters/cards and magazines I subscribe to  in the mail
• Compliments
• Snuggling with StanLee
• Watching StanLee chase birds
• Watching StanLee chillax while Chad plays guitar
• Kitty lap time
• Public radio (including but not limited to The Current, Radio Heartland, and shows like “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me”)
• The smell of soap or body wash that I like
• Making supper (yes, I really do “cook” but I just consider anyone else is enlighted enough to eat it ;-)–Chad is indifferent enough)
• Audiobooks
• Making the “red line of death” go away on my Garmin watch (the line that tells me I haven’t moved enough recently)
• TV (obviously) but especially: The Daily Show, Legends of Tomorrow, Orville, The Witcher, Avenue 5 and Altered Carbon (Why yes, I did just give you several pandemic-watching television shows recommendations)
• Getting “likes” on Facebook (yes I’m officially old)
• Hitting “publish” on a blog post

A rather random post, as something innocuous seems best suited to current conditions.

Tonight on the The Current’s “Transmission” show (yes, I love real live actual radio!!) I heard a wonderful 80’s song that still holds up: “Overkill” by Men at Work. Oh, how that ode to insomnia was the theme song of my youth. And also the object of my misheard lyrics. Instead of “Ghosts appear and fade away,” I heard “Go Severe and fade away.” Well, that makes sense…sleep-deprivation can make you think, act and feel pretty severe.

No, I’m not claiming I’m the only one who’s misheard lyrics, but clearly my mistakes are the cutest and most endearing.

I’ll give you just a few more recent examples–or at least, not 80’s examples. Okay, “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” IS from the 80’s but I only recently learned I didn’t have the lyrics right when we started performing it with “Pigeons From Hell.”

Song	Artist	Real lyrics	Amy version	Witty commentary
Wasted My Youth	Jenny Lewis	I wasted my youth on a poppy	I wasted my youth on a puppy	Come on, my version makes much more sense. I’ve wasted my youth and middle age on a puppy!…I guess “poppy” is a drug reference,
Tints	Anderson Paak	I need tints	I need tits	Tints are sunglasses…ah-ha!
Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around	Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty	That’s the game, yeah, what am I supposed to do?	Just a girl, yeah, what am I supposed to do?	Sometime I sing my version just because I like it– it’s ironically feminist!
Shut Up Kiss Me	Angel Olsen	Shut up, kiss me, hold me tight	Shock me, blah blah, blah $#%^	My version isn’t appropriate for mass distribution
Brimful of Asha	Cornershop	Everybody Needs a Bosom for a Pillow	Everybody Needs a Bosom for a Pillow	Hey, I was right! I was, however, totally confused by the song title